[Ice-T]
Yeah, last year a lot of motherfuckers asked me
why I didn't do no old sex nasty shit
But this year I went down to Miami and got my nigga from 2 Live
Brother Marquis in the house! (Yeah I'm the motherfuckin nigga)
Yeah, we gonna answer the question about girl problems
All these niggaz is havin girl problem, Marq
(Huh, tell them man, tell them how it is)
Lemme tell you what time is it

I got a ho from the East, got a ho from the West
Got a ho that likes to jack it off and rub it in her chest
I got a ho from the North, a ho from the South
A ho that likes to suck it long and hold it in her mouth
I got a bitch with hair, a bitch with none
A bitch with a knife, a bitch with a gun
A bitch with a ass big as a TV set
And there's a bitch over there; hey, the one I'm gonna get
But yo but maybe not, she might not like me though
No sweat to a vet; I'll slam a sista though, word
Ice in the whole damn herd
I fuck 'em all and leave 'em on the curve
I got a bitch with a mink, who rocks a fat gold link
who likes to fuck me with her ass up on the kitchen sink
Got a bitch with tits, a bitch with ass
A bitch with none, but hey I give her a pass
And I love 'em all, I love 'em crazily
And they love me back - that's why they stay with me
So if you havin girl problems, I'll be there for you son
Got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one - hit it
Nah a bitch ain't one

[Ice-T]

I got a bitch that's old, a bitch that's new
A bitch who love velvet in the colors blue
I got a bitch who's fat, a bitch who's built
A bitch who all her titties give out powdered milk
I got a bitch who's funny, a bitch who ain't
A bitch who can sing, a bitch who cain't
A bitch who loves fuckin on a airplane
I even got a bitch off +Soul Train+
I got a bitch who rolls a rag-top Benz
Long ends
I got a bitch who's broke as a bum
But she's the most fun
I got a bitch who play piano, a bitch who don't
A bitch who dances naked, a bitch who won't
A bitch who's short, a bitch who's tall
A bitch who burns my pager with priority calls
And I love 'em all, I love 'em crazily
And they love me back - that's why they stay with me
So if you havin girl problems, I'll be there for you son
Got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one - hit me

Yo Marquis - you from Miami man why don't you show
these motherfuckers all the over the world; the 2 Live style
of how the bitches treat a motherfuckin fly nigga like you

[Brother Marquis]

I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one of them
I don't trip on hos, cause I don't need none of them
Pussy's the temptation, dick's the persuasion
All hos suck cock nigga how you play 'em?
That's why I don't sleep on 'em, I just freak on 'em
Stick dick in they mouth; take it out and I skeet on 'em
The nigga the one-nighter, the bitch exciter
I only love my hos when I'm goin up inside her
Problem number one is gettin money
I'd rather taste the green than sip the honey
So don't expect nuttin cause I ain't offerin
I go hard on my bitches, cause I'm never never softenin
Puttin the demand on 'em, fuck 'em and scram on 'em
The "wham, bam, thank you ma'am" game is ran on 'em
So fuck how you feel, you fuckin cheap thrill
I hope you took the pill cause I won't pay the bill
Gettin pussy's just another expense
If pussy pays the bills then dick pays the rent
I only need a ho for one thing and that's to cum
I've got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one!

[Ice-T]
Ha! Yo Marquis my motherfucker you got problems man?
(A bitch ain't one) Aww shit!
Now let me tell you how to do this shit

[M] I got a bitch that loves to G
[I] She'll fuck you right after she fucks me
[M] I got a bitch who loves both
[I] I got a bitch who loves handcuffs and ropes
[I] I got a bitch that's fast, a bitch that's slow
[M] A bitch that's a virgin and a bitch that's a ho
[I] A bitch that lies
[M] A bitch that's true
[I] A bitch who's a man BECAUSE THEY'RE "Bitches 2"
[I] I got a bitch that's cool
[M] A bitch that's hot
[I] A bitch who loves rap, a bitch who loves rock
[I] A bitch who's lost and one who knows where it's at
[I] She gets up under me and purrs like a cat
[M] I got a bitch that runs, I got a bitch that walks
[M] I got a bitch that yells, I got a bitch who talks
[I] I got a bitch that's dirty, got a bitch that's neat
[I] I got a super fine bitch that I knocked in the swap meet

[Ice-T]
And I love 'em all, I love 'em crazily
And they love me back - that's why they stay with me
So if you havin girl problems, I'll be there for you son
I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one - hit me
No a bitch ain't one
(Huh, you know a bitch ain't one!)

[Ice-T]

Youknahmsayin? I got problems with my motherfuckin rent Marquis
But a bitch ain't one

[Brother Marquis]

Man you got yourself nothin man
Fuck them raggedy stank-ass hos nigga

[Ice-T]

A bitch ain't one
I got a problems stayin out here on these streets
with the police trying to take a nigga out, y'know?
But a bitch ain't one
Got problems with motherfuckers buyin my records
But a bitch ain't one

[Brother Marquis]

Fuck 'em all, nigga fuck them motherfuckers

[Ice-T]

Youknahmsayin? A bitch ain't one
Got problems man

[Brother Marquis]

All them motherfuckers can kiss my motherfuckin ass f'real

[Ice-T]
Really, niggaz worryin about bitches
They better, they better find somethin else to worry about
{*fades out*